Last night was a true test of how things will be when Ryan's traveling this fall for work. It was me on my own with a newborn and Kayson. Cora was good... she ate when she needed to, and slept pretty well. Kayson, on the other hand, was pretty terrible for me. I talked with him on how things were going to be (tonight) - explaining that Daddy was gone for the night, so I would need Kayson's help... and that we could do a couple cartoons before bed time (for something special). He seemed fine with that... and knew which cartoons he wanted.
Supper was had, we walked to the mailbox (for our outing - pathetic I know!), a bath was taken, and he played for a little bit... then two cartoons were had. In between all of these things, meltdowns happened and lots of throwing his softie at me and telling me he's not my friend. Then all of the sudden, he was calm... books were read in his room (like always), and then the 'shit hit the fan'. More meltdowns, kicking, lots and lots of crying - wanting his Daddy, etc. I didn't do anything right - he didn't want to be patted, didn't wanted to sing songs, nothing. What's Cora up to at this point? Well, of course, she was crying pretty hard by now - it was feeding time. I'm trying to keep a paci in her mouth to keep her happy for (what I was hoping, just another few minutes), but after 1 hour of Kayson's meltdowns and coming out of his room and throwing things, etc... I had to feed her. Oh boy, Kayson was pissed then. After getting Cora down, I told Kayson he could come to the couch and sit with me for a bit... in which he did, then 15 minutes later, I put him in bed and he slept. LORD.
I feel bad... I know all of this is normal, but it's such a struggle and such a test of my (our) patience. I just want him to be happy.
I love you Kayson.
And here's Miss Cora on her changing pad. This seems to be a 'calming' place for her... she really likes it. I can do random things in her room and she just lays there and kicks and looks around. So sweet.
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