Kayson - 9 year Well Check

9 year old buddy.
All is good... simple well check these days.  :)

Stats:
Height: 54" or 4' 5" (70%)
Weight: 60.8 lbs (45%)

Again... skinny, but he grew in weight over 5 pounds.  Dr. Beebe asked if he eats... ha.  Yes, he does.  :)

Weekend of Surprises

So I turned 40.  Ryan decided to surprise me a little this weekend... 
He told me Thursday night that he made reservations for us for Friday, got a sitter and it's all set up.  Very nice of him... 
Friday:
We drove to Latin King, haven't been there in probably 18 years, and Ryan's never been there.  We went to the bar before our table was ready, and I was surprised by a few of our closest friends - Lacey/Justin, Colleen/Mike and Jess/Lex.  What!?!?  I honestly wasn't expecting anything... but it was so nice of him.  I honestly hardly ever see Lacey (Justin for sure), and Colleen and I are lucky to have our random lunches...  but to have them all together was great.  We had dinner, then went to a bar for a drink.  It was a really nice, fun evening. 

Saturday:
Basketball for K - last game. 
Home to do random stuff...  I just putzed around, cleaned a little, laundry.  Cora took an early rest cuz she wouldn't go to bed for the sitter Friday night.  :(  Ryan and Kayson went down to Simpson to watch Jenna again, and Cora had a birthday party to go to.  It was at a gymnastics place...  and 30 kids were there.  30!!!  Holy crap.  GERM FEST. 
 
Following the birthday party, we met Ryan and K back at the house... they were starving, and were going to meet Mike and JeanAnn at El Rodeo for supper.  We got there... and once again, I was surprised.  My family, along with Mike and JeanAnn, were there for supper!  SHUT UP.  I had wondered why I hadn't really heard from my family regarding my birthday - but just assumed they were all busy.  ha.  We had a good supper, then they came back to the house for a little bit... 
 
Great night... and great couple of surprises.  And I was absolutely exhausted.
 
Sunday:
Church. Groceries. Laundry. Baseball. and just this and that... 
 
Ryan heads to Nebraska for the week...  really wish he wasn't gone again. 
 
Here are some pics from the weekend.

Figured we needed a pic together, cuz we never do anything just us!  ha.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kayson - Basketball is a wrap!

The 4 weekends of basketball is officially over for K.  We definitely had some good moments, and not so good moments... but we remind ourselves, they are 3rd grade!

Saturday's game was pretty good... not a win, but overall good.  Kayson seemed more aggressive, getting some good rebounds, taking the ball to the hoop, sinking his free throw, and just shooting more.  It was good to see... 

Now we move to baseball full time!

Cousin Duke came to watch.

K played against friend, Colton

40 Years Old

Today is the day...  life has gotten away from me!  I'm 40.  YIKES!
Now I am NOT a girl who likes attention... eeewwwaaahh.  So days like today honestly give me a little anxiety.  ha.  But I do have to say, today was good.  I woke feeling pretty good...  but did look in the mirror, and saw my Mom in me.  I teared up, shook it off... and got the kiddos up.  Just one of those things that happens from time to time... I think I look like my Mom from time to time, and today I did.  She was/is with me.  

Work was good... I was spoiled with a little decorations, some candy, donuts and plenty of laughs with my work friends.  I had lunch with Colleen... her and Lacey gave me the funniest gift ever - a bunch of stuff for 'old' women.  :)  Good time with Colleen...  always fun.

Ryan and the kids did well for me as well... flowers (my favorite - gerber daisies), diamond earrings and lots of hugs.  Unfortunately, Ryan is in MN, so Skype was our friend this morning and tonight...  but that's ok.  

Anyway, it was a really nice day...  now it's quiet in the house - I'm enjoying an episode of Fixer Upper, and heading to bed early!  :)  I'm old now. 

Weekend

Friday:
Ryan got home from MN...  wanted to stay in, so we ordered pizza and Jess, Lex and kids stopped over to see us.  Kids literally haven't seen each other/played with each other forever it seems... and they all did amazing.  Nice visit. 

Saturday:
Basketball at 8:00!!  Too early!  ha.  Cleaning, groceries, and just enjoying home... With Ryan home all day finally, the kids and him played and hung out together...  I stayed out of the way - as they needed some time together!   Saturday late afternoon/evening - K's birthday party.   Duke came too, so Niky, Scott, Britt and Grandma Janis came to pick him up and they hung out with us and visited for awhile, which was super!!!

Sunday:
Sleepover friends headed home between 8 and 8:30... we headed to church... had a planning meeting afterwards, then home and we just hung out all afternoon, which was nice too.  Nice to have some quiet.  Kayson started true baseball practice... and that's about it. 

Random pics:

New dress for Cora; and happy/tired Kayson!

Kayson and Dax

Presley and Cora

Kayson's 9th Birthday Party

This year Kayson wanted a sleepover for his birthday.  And that made me cringe at first, but I also know we are at that stage/age... and he's got good friends, so figured it would be ok!
We had 7 kiddos (planned on 8, but Carter was sick)... come to the house, then we loaded up and went to Lifetime.  The boys literally played in the gym for an hour and a half - basketball and dodgeball (and they were wiped out!!!)... then we had pizza, and we were out of there a little before 7:00.  It worked out really well. 

Then we just hung out at our house...  three boys were staying the night, and the others headed home between 8 and 9.  It really did work out.  Then the remaining kiddos and Kayson played the PS4 til about 10...  they were loud and rowdy and all boy.  Kinda of funny... 

About 10:15... it was lights out... and around 10:50, we stopped hearing them.  Not too bad...  however, this morning - 6:15 I heard whispering!  OH MY GOODNESS! hahah.  

Overall, good party... and great little friends.  We are pretty lucky!

Duke, Colton, Blake, K, Caleb, Evan & Hudsen

 

Solo Mom with a 9 & 5 year old

This week Ryan has been gone... in MN.  He'll be gone a little next week as well. 
This week our kids have pushed my buttons (which is normal, I'm ready for it, I've done this for a long time!)... but what's interesting - they don't push my buttons at the same time.  It's like the toggle back and forth either every other hour, or just every other day.  Awesome right!?!? 

I've found that if Cora gives me trouble - then Kayson seems to do everything perfectly for me... using the "please and thank you" manner words, asking nicely for things, and most importantly - just doing what I ask the first time.  Not going to lie - that's AMAZING!  ha.  This happened Tuesday night and tonight (Thursday).  (see - every other day!)  I told him I appreciated him being helpful and listening well for me... he smiled and gave me a hug.  Yep, he knows how to schmooze me. 

Wednesday night was Kayson's night to be my problem child.  We struggled with words, we struggled with rules, we struggled with just plain listening... and it got worse at bedtime.  I've found that when the kids are able to be on their iPads (which is only Wednesday evenings and weekends, with rules on weekends), we have fights.  So Wednesday was that night of iPad...  he did fairly well for me getting his reading and math completed, then I told him he could have a little more iPad time.  Then we were done... or so I thought.  Bath, teeth brushed, and I found him back on the iPad.  I explained (with a firm voice) that we were done with electronics.  He was mad... mad at me.  I stayed calm, I talked with him, got him settled into bed... all the while he was mad, not looking at me, not talking.  I closed the door... 

Shortly after, I heard something... wasn't sure what it was, but I went to his room and he had thrown his stuffed animals and blankets at the door!  Oh boy.  I wasn't exactly sure what to do, or what to say... but I just was honest with my feelings, I teared up, and I explained to him that this was not right... he eventually told me he was sorry, etc.  (this came from my previous post about empathy - totally hit home at a perfect time). I understand all of this - being a kid is hard, I get it.  I just pray that we can continue to talk and work through things... even if they seem SO small right now (at 9 years old).

Being on my own with the kiddos is a lot.  And as they get older, we are just busier, and life is just different.  We can't just come home and "play".  We have homework or reading every night, we have activities, we still need to eat, we still need to have quiet time and sit with each other (and talk!!!!) AND I'd love to squeeze in 'play' when we can. I mean, they are kids.  But life is just different... and I do love it in it's own way!  I love that my kids are involved in things, and man oh man - they are learning so much...  I love this.  But I would love a little break from the attitudes and ears not working!  :)  

Being a parent is so hard... I've said that before!  and being solo mom is even harder. 

Empathy (Des Moines City Moms Blog)

This following post is from Des Moines City Moms Blog.  It's a blog I follow... and for some reason this one hit home to me.  I've been through a lot in the past 4 years or so... and I've tried really hard to keep my emotions in check, but then I realized over the past couple years (mostly since Mom passed), that 'hiding' my emotions from my kids really isn't worth it.  It's not a bad thing to have my kids see me upset, mad, sad, etc.   I've always wanted an "open emotion" relationship with my kids...  being a kid is hard, and so is being an adult!!!   So I want our emotions to be open at home...  I want my kids to see emotions, and have empathy for each other (me!) when we are down, frustrated, sad, etc.  I think this is really important...
So this is the blog that I read ---

My initial post for January was about decompressing after the holidays: What to look forward to now? How do you get back into a routine? When do you start tearing down and storing? Can we just leave the lights on the house? Because they didn’t make it down until April last year anyway… It was funny, sarcastic, and I had some great ideas I was excited to share.
Then, life happened. A week and a half before Christmas we lost my grandpa. We knew it was coming in time, but not right then. It caught me off guard. While I had thought the awareness would make it easier when the time came, it didn’t at all. The grieving was met with a few weeks of pent up, unaddressed emotion around coming back to work after maternity leave and learning the ropes of a brand-new role.
With the added planning, traveling, and whycantwebethreeplacesatonce holiday stress, I lost it.
Full blown, hot-mess express, unstoppable sob fest right in front of my daughter.
“Mommy crying.”
I looked over and there she was, my sweet two year old, watching me lose it and unable to stop. I tried, feeling bad for crying so hard in front of her, but I just couldn’t get it together. So I told her,
“Yes. Mommy is crying.”
She again said, “Mommy crying.”
I looked at her concerned, sweet little face and a small lightbulb went off.
In that moment, I knew it was time for a lesson on empathy.
Working in a middle school for the last six years, if there is one skill I hope my girls have by the time they reach their adolescent years, it’s empathy. I want them to understand the ripples of their words and actions and develop an innate ability to anticipate others’ feelings and understand different perspectives just as well as their own.
Further, I want them to know that everyone has a story, and we never know the battle another is facing until we get to know them. It’s a big hope. 

Empathy isn’t easy.

In fact, it’s really hard and takes time and practice.
Too many times as a counselor I cannot begin to imagine what my students are describing to me. Yet, as I listen to their words and support them in making sense of their feelings and emotions, I find myself understanding where they are coming from and seeing the situation through their heart and mind. Of course, I’m always quick to remind myself that I get to step away from those feelings, but that’s what empathy does to you- makes you feel like you’re right there living it too.

Empathy is learned, we’re not born with it.

Through experiences and time spent discussing and naming emotions, younger children begin to recognize the feelings of others and understand how emotions can affect behaviors. Older children are able to understand that empathy doesn’t mean agreeing with everyone, rather its purpose is to understand differences. Never is empathy about giving advice. It’s not even about finding a solution, but solely about gaining perspective. 

Our society is SO good at teaching sympathy, but empathy should be our next goal. We like, donate, and volunteer, but for many the thought for the cause stops there. Don’t get me wrong, this is wonderful! However, if we took more time to learn the stories of those we’re feeling sorry for, the emotions level us with them and turn the care to compassion. 

Don’t be afraid to talk emotions with your kids. Name the anxiety you’re feeling in traffic. Talk about the fear you have during the storm. Show the sadness you feel after you didn’t get the promotion. It’s GOOD for our kids to know feelings and GREAT for them to see how we handle them. 
For my two-year-old that afternoon, she saw mom crying. She knew crying wasn’t the norm, but I doubt she knew the concept of sad. So, I named the emotion for her and said,
“Yes, mommy is crying. Mommy is sad.” And I reached out to hug her.
She looked at me for a second, turned, picked up the blanket on the floor and started wiping my face as I do hers when she’s sad.
And then there were more, much happier, tears, and a mama with a heart full of hope.

Long Weekend

It was a long weekend...  3 day weekend for me!  MLK Day.
Friday night, didn't do much... 
 
Saturday was a busy day of basketball.
Kayson had a game at 9:00...  this week - not so great.  Just brutal watching 2nd and 3rd graders.  Oh dear!!  Home for a bit... did a few random things, then we headed down to Simpson to watch Jenna play again.  Not a great game for Jenna either, so that was a bummer.  We stuck around and watched the boys play too...  and that was a little more exciting! 
 
Cora was a hot tired mess, so she ended up snoozing on the way home... which was a shock, but ok.  We grabbed a bite to eat out, and then home.   I had lost my patience with miss thing...  lots of talking back and just being so mouthy.  She's a challenge!!
 
Sunday - church, groceries and stuck around home.  We've had another blast of terribly cold weather, so it was a good day to stay home. 
 
And Monday - Ryan headed up to MN for the week; Kayson chose to do BTB (field trip); and Cora went to daycare.  I had a list of things I wanted to do - actually 8 things on my list...  but unfortunately with the brutally cold temps, I had NO interest in being outside.  I got my oil changed, and did one more errand... and literally went home and relaxed.  Not going to lie - it was great, but then by 2:00 I was like - "crap - I didn't do anything today!!!"  ha. 
 
Tumbling and basketball wrapped up our Monday night. 
 

 

 

 

 

 

Beautiful sun dogs over the last few days. Makes me think of Mom.

 

 

This & That

Seems like last week was busy... weird... and I guess just back to 'reality'.  The holidays and 'extra' days off of work and school are over, so we were just back to normal.

Again, Iowa was hit was some hard core cold weather... and we also were hit with some ice and snow on Thursday.  Schools closed, which is almost unheard of in the DSM area...  but we took it!  K and I stayed home all day...  minus the orthodontist appointment he had.  He had more work done on some back molars - having a loop and hook put in.  Fairly easy, but uncomfortable for him... he just hates this crap!  

Cora was back to tumbling on Monday, but we missed gymnastics on Thursday cuz schools closed...  She also started a new extra curricular activity at daycare - DramaTykes.  It just makes me laugh typing that out... yes, it's Drama, for Tykes.  Funny.  She was doing JumpBunch (the sports one), but she just wasn't having it... was telling us weekly that she wanted to stop that and try DramaTykes. Ok, done.  She'll actually be in a performance in a couple weeks...  again, funny.  

Kayson's started basketball obviously... so he has practices on Mondays, so he's doing that and having to miss out on baseball.  Thankfully the basketball season is only 4 weeks long.  I think K enjoys baseball more.

Cora and I have continued to butt heads.  Does this surprise anyone?! 

Photo credit by Cora

Weekend

Friday:
Stayed in...  quiet, tired, uneventful evening. 

Saturday:
Saturday seemed busy... and it was. 
Kayson started basketball... and we were lucky enough to get an 8:00 game.  SLEEPY FAMILY!  ha.  We've been spoiled lately with sleeping in on Saturdays!  Anyway... pretty good game, for being their first, and not knowing each other, etc.  It's a short season, so it'll go fast, but hopefully Kayson learns something!

Following basketball, we did breakfast out with Mike and JeanAnn...  and kind of had to cut that short, as I needed to get home/changed/back on the road for my good friend Katie's baby shower.  I attended that... and it was lovely, literally... perfect, lovely, so nice.  I was able to see some old OLD friends - my old Dorm Mom from Ellsworth Community College and her daughter, and another gal that I knew.  It was SO nice catching up with them... and then also seeing Katie just BEAM.  She'll be a tremendous mother.  

I then did a few errands on my own, as Ryan and the kiddos went to Jenna's basketball game.  I also got some quiet time at home too... which was heaven, not going to lie.  :)

We grabbed supper out Saturday night...  did a quick return to the mall... and back home... movie night, with popcorn and relaxing.  

Sunday:
Church...  groceries... laundry... cleaning out cars...  and the kiddos played outside in the snow (that's starting to melt!)  We played a little... took a bunch of pictures, as they were being so good.  A little more relaxing... a tent was made for quiet time...  and that's been our day.  Pretty quiet, but also some mouthy lips coming from K and C.  hmmm...  we might we tired of each other?!  ha. 

Good weekend...  of course bummed that this coming week is a full week of work.  WHAT?!?!

Kayson - 3rd Grade Music Concert

and yet another music/winter concert is in the books for our guy.  (Cora keeps asking when she'll have a concert!! -- by the way, she's SOOOO intrigued to go to Kindergarten next year!!  Only 8 more months!)

Anyway, this year's concert was held at the High School Auditorium, which was kind of fun... different.  The kids did awesome, including our one and only Kayson.  He had a 'movement' part, and did great... and some of his friends had speaking parts or played instruments.  Fun to see.