Friday, June 23, 2017

8 Months

8 months has passed since Mom's death.  8 months.  I mean - seriously... that's almost a year.  Why does time have to go so damn fast?  
There are so many reasons that I hate this - that she's been gone, that time goes fast and life gets away from us... so quickly.  My kids are almost 9 and 5.  Seriously.  

I feel sad.  I feel mad.  I feel exhausted.  

My tears have lessened.  They have.  I don't cry as much as I used to.  
My heartache however, has increased.  I just ache.  I ache for Dad.  I ache for my sisters and me.  I ache for the kids.  I ache knowing that life can be over in any second.  I hate it.  

People have said to me - "Live life to the fullest".  And I agree.  I wish I could right now.  But I get into a big hole and have a hard time digging myself out of it.  I just get sad.  I just want to be with Ryan and the kids, and that's it.  I want to be at home.  I'm safe there.  

8 months.  I just can't believe it.  It's so hard to grasp.  

I miss you Mom. 

Monday, June 19, 2017

Kayson - Baseball (The End)

The end of the season wrapped up tonight.  We had several make up games (3 to be exact), so we've got all those done now. 

Our Rockies team wasn't the best, but they have improved, which is key.  Kayson did well - he can throw well, he goes after the ball (to catch it), and actually catches it!  His hitting has been off and on.  Some games the kid just stands there, no swings... then the next game he swings... sometimes he makes contact, but most times not.  Definitely need to work on that, if we plan on continuing!  And then the pitching... he's done really well with this.  Sure, he's 8, but man, I really think he does consistently well with that.  

Regardless, it was an ok season.  Lots learned.  

I personally do not like baseball very well... so it made it super hard to watch and be excited (when the team struggled and the coaching was just fair)...  but knowing that K improved and was one of the better kids on the team, makes me happy. 

Pics from the last couple games:
1st Base was his place
and did well at pitching!
Rockies 8U
with friend Caleb
warming up
my babies

Sunday, June 18, 2017

Weekend - Father's Day

We had a nice weekend...  
Friday night we had a baseball game... weather was pretty nice, as it's been very hot and humid here in Iowa.  Kayson had hit his limit for tiredness...  a busy week back to BTB, and super hot weather, and 2 baseball games, 2 nights in a row.  He was done for.  Exhausted. 

Saturday, kids slept in... and we started our day.  We hung out at home all day, which was exactly what we (kids) needed.  They stayed inside, played fairly well (besides a few meltdowns from Cora!).  Ryan and I did some seriously cleaning and organizing during the day.  Saturday late afternoon we hosted about 20 people - the young families of our church.  As I've said before, our church is small... and there's a group of 60-70 year olds, then there is a pretty big gap down to our age of families.  So we finally planned an outing... and it went awesome!  Everyone came around 5:00...  kids started playing right away, and adult conversations were great.  We had some 'competitive' basketball games going on with some adults and kiddos, which was hysterical...  The whole night just went really well.  I think everyone had a great time.  I hope to do that again. 

So, with that - the kids got to bed late, but overall, they did well... and were able to sleep in today. 


Father's Day.  Happy Daddy's Day to Ryan.   We did church, then just hung out this afternoon.  Ryan took a little snooze, and I did as well. 

Later in the afternoon we went up to Ames and met my side of the family, and Dad at Hickory Park for a early supper.  Really nice time.

Our #1 guy

Us girls are the lucky ones.

Finally brought a movie for one of the baseball games.  That helped pass the time for Cora.

Snow cones!

Rain was covered by adorable umbrellas.  Sadie & Cora

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

This & That - Back to Reality

Well, I'm not going to lie...  being back to work stinks!
We really enjoyed our weekend back - it was great having Saturday and Sunday just at home... just us...  catching up... and doing random stuff.  But I think by Monday morning - it had all caught up to us, even the kids.  

I was wiped out, slept terrible, the whole she-bang.  Monday at work was ok...  I was half productive and half asleep!  Monday evening Kayson wasn't feeling well...  saying he was super tired and had a headache.  (he's never had a headache before, so that worried me).  He slept for about an hour after we got home with ice on his head.  No supper for him...  but he perked up a little before bed.  Tuesday morning he woke warm - not a big temp, just about 99, and he said he felt fine... just tired.  I really debated keeping him home, but we sent him to BTB.  I checked on him Tuesday morning, and the supervisor said he was doing well - dabbing and running around the gym at that time.  ha.  

Tuesday night he seemed better...  definitely a pep in his step, he ate supper well, but then got super tired around 7:30.  Again this morning, he just seemed more tired than normal.  He's usually our kid that gets up and eats awesome and talks and just seems happy...  not lately.  So I sure hope he's just fighting off this heat and being tired.  Worries the crap out of me.  ugh. 

Cora is doing well... she was excited to be back to school with her friends.  "I wonder if my friends will remember me" she said.  Ha.  Funny.  Who wouldn't remember you Cora?!?!

Ryan developed a cough the last couple days in Mexico...  that cough that just continues and is rather annoying!  He went to doc yesterday, so hoping meds will kick in fast.  

And myself...  well, still tired.  Yesterday I had a sad day... I'm guessing it started with my worrying about Kayson Tuesday morning.  I know I get like this... and I try really hard to shake it off, but apparently it's hard for me.  But all day, I just felt 'blue'... I really wished I could have talked to Mom yesterday...  which is so odd, because Mom and I didn't really chat a lot...  but for some reason, I just missed her terribly yesterday.  She would have just ooohed and awwed over the kids, and I miss that.  

So, back to reality here.  
It's nice being home, but I do miss those relaxing days in Mexico!

snuggled in with a headache and tired...  :(

feeding time for Baby Kelly

Sunday, June 11, 2017

While Mom and Dad are away - the Kids Play!

and pictures from the kids' week without us.  I think they did have a really nice time.
I'm super thankful we have family to help us out...  even though we don't travel often, knowing they would step in, means the world to us.

Kayson had a little track and field camp to attend while we were gone.  He really enjoyed himself - did the 100 m dash (including the starting blocks), introduced to the hurdles, long jump and shot put.


10th Wedding Anniversary Vacation

Well, we are back from our 6 day vacation in Cancun/Riviera Maya.  
We headed out super early (around 4:00 am) last Sunday morning.  My sister, Trish, had come on Saturday to hang out and 'get the instructions' as she said.  :)

The travels went super smooth on Sunday...  left on time in DSM, connected in Dallas and again, everything went smoothly to Cancun.  (Besides being super tired), everything went well. 

We got to the resort...  ate a quick late lunch, and had our first drink in paradise.  From there, we got settled into our room, got acquainted with the place... and just soaked it all in.  Our first night there consisted of me falling asleep around 7:30...  and staying alseep until about 7:00 Monday morning!  OOPS.  

The rest of the trip was awesome...  lots of sun time, sprinkling in lots of shade as well (as we got a little toasty on Monday!) We drank plenty and the food was great at every restaurant.  I was super glad about that... I didn't want to starve!

A few main things that we did - 
  • Romantic dinner on the beach (was supposed to be candle lit), but the candle didn't work.  ha. It also poured nearly the entire time we ate... but then at the end, it cleared up, and we saw the prettiest rainbow.  
  • a "sky massage" - consisted of a full body massage outside under a 'hut' thing, listening to the waves.  Perfect. 
  • a live gourmet cooking dinner - right in front of our eyes.  There's a restaurant called "Fuentes" that has live cooking.  It's a 5 course meal where the chef cooks the course in front of us, then we got to experience the food.  It was really neat... and I tried some really different foods!  ha.
We left Cancun around 4:00 Friday afternoon... a delayed flight out of there, but knew we would be ok for the connection.  Little did we know that connection in Dallas would give us a run for our money.  We landed... got to our gate, and knew we had some time (as the flight to DSM was delayed), but unfortunately for the next hour or so, we rode that Skylink in Dallas THREE times because our gates kept changing.  THREE TIMES.  Rather annoyed, but it kept us on our toes!  

But...  we really had a great time...  lots of relaxing and reading too.  We enjoyed ourselves, but we were definitely glad to come home to our littles.  They, too, had a really good time too.  Trish and JeanAnn kept them busy in their own ways, and sent us pictures and texts the entire trip.  I appreciated that so much.  I know they were safe, happy and having a good time (and Ryan and I too!!!)... but I still could miss them!   :)

Pictures from our trip:
Our first food and drinks on the way!, straight off the plane and ride to resort

Not going to lie - this totally cracked us up.
Our own pool at our room.  Totally awesome and used a lot!

Just a few of the cool desserts we enjoyed.

Ryan testing the ocean... and was not graceful at all!  ahha