Thursday, January 18, 2018

Solo Mom with a 9 & 5 year old

This week Ryan has been gone... in MN.  He'll be gone a little next week as well. 
This week our kids have pushed my buttons (which is normal, I'm ready for it, I've done this for a long time!)... but what's interesting - they don't push my buttons at the same time.  It's like the toggle back and forth either every other hour, or just every other day.  Awesome right!?!? 

I've found that if Cora gives me trouble - then Kayson seems to do everything perfectly for me... using the "please and thank you" manner words, asking nicely for things, and most importantly - just doing what I ask the first time.  Not going to lie - that's AMAZING!  ha.  This happened Tuesday night and tonight (Thursday).  (see - every other day!)  I told him I appreciated him being helpful and listening well for me... he smiled and gave me a hug.  Yep, he knows how to schmooze me. 

Wednesday night was Kayson's night to be my problem child.  We struggled with words, we struggled with rules, we struggled with just plain listening... and it got worse at bedtime.  I've found that when the kids are able to be on their iPads (which is only Wednesday evenings and weekends, with rules on weekends), we have fights.  So Wednesday was that night of iPad...  he did fairly well for me getting his reading and math completed, then I told him he could have a little more iPad time.  Then we were done... or so I thought.  Bath, teeth brushed, and I found him back on the iPad.  I explained (with a firm voice) that we were done with electronics.  He was mad... mad at me.  I stayed calm, I talked with him, got him settled into bed... all the while he was mad, not looking at me, not talking.  I closed the door... 

Shortly after, I heard something... wasn't sure what it was, but I went to his room and he had thrown his stuffed animals and blankets at the door!  Oh boy.  I wasn't exactly sure what to do, or what to say... but I just was honest with my feelings, I teared up, and I explained to him that this was not right... he eventually told me he was sorry, etc.  (this came from my previous post about empathy - totally hit home at a perfect time). I understand all of this - being a kid is hard, I get it.  I just pray that we can continue to talk and work through things... even if they seem SO small right now (at 9 years old).

Being on my own with the kiddos is a lot.  And as they get older, we are just busier, and life is just different.  We can't just come home and "play".  We have homework or reading every night, we have activities, we still need to eat, we still need to have quiet time and sit with each other (and talk!!!!) AND I'd love to squeeze in 'play' when we can. I mean, they are kids.  But life is just different... and I do love it in it's own way!  I love that my kids are involved in things, and man oh man - they are learning so much...  I love this.  But I would love a little break from the attitudes and ears not working!  :)  

Being a parent is so hard... I've said that before!  and being solo mom is even harder. 

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