Saturday, March 12, 2011

Emotionally Spent

I'm exhausted. Mentally & physically.
I've had crazy weeks before, I've had hard weeks before... but I feel that this past week has been tougher than most. An emotional roller-coaster to be exact.
  • Having my promotion being announced at work - I felt very proud & happy.
  • Having Ryan gone once again - I felt a little overwhelmed.
  • Hearing the news about my friend & co-worker - More than sad, very angry, lost, scared. Attending his visitation - Again, very sad... and also still felt anger. I think the reason the anger is still hanging on is the fact that he was so young and had a wonderful family of a wife and two young boys. And the fact that cancer can do this to a family... Seeing "D" laying in the casket was the worst thing I've seen in years - he didn't look like 'him'. He didn't look full of life, or have that smile that we remembered. It wasn't him. That makes me mad. Hearing his 4 year old son say he "wants Daddy to come down from heaven" hurts more than I can explain. I'm finding myself thinking about the situation a lot... a lot more than I ever anticipated. It's just sad. I relate it to my life - how I don't ever want anything like this to happen to me. I think about others who fight cancer and live... and die. Like I said, emotional roller-coaster... just nonstop thinking and wanting "D's" family to have their grief be eased somehow.
  • Seeing my niece, Hope, play VB today - Anxious & happy.
  • Hearing about Ryan's cousin, Jenna, win the Free Throw Shoot out today and get to head to the Nationals - Makes both of us very happy & excited for her.
  • Hearing of my friend, Lacey's, Aunt passing away unexpectedly - Sad & tired of crying.

I'm wiped out... We lose an hour of sleep tonight... oh just what I need! ;) I hope you are all safe, happy & healthy tonight.

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