It's been a busy week. One just trying to keep things somewhat 'normal' around here - at home, at work, just in general. Unfortunately, normal wasn't what happened the first couple days of the week.
Lacey's grandpa passed last Friday - so I drove up to Clarion Monday night for the visitation. Lacey and I are best friends... talk daily, and on Friday and Saturday we talked for over an hour each. She told me over and over again, that I didn't need to come Monday. "It's too new for you", she said. But I did. I wanted to. PLUS, Monday was Mom's birthday. That in itself, was SUPER hard... but I thought if I went up to Clarion, I could visit her and also see Dad. I stopped to see and talk to Mom... she needs flowers. I cried and cried, telling her happy birthday and that I was so sorry she was gone. Then I made my way to see Lacey and her family. I then met Dad, Trish, Eden, Jill, Jeff, Linds and Ryan for a quick supper... it was nice. Then I headed back... getting home around 8:20. The kids had good nights, but I could tell they were out of whack. I messed up their night by being gone - so many good and bad things about that, but at that moment - it was bad. I hate ruining a routine.
Our other friend, Jess, loss her Dad Sunday morning (3 weeks to the day of losing Mom). Tears just fell and fell - I ached for her, and still do. So Tuesday evening, after our Parent - Teacher conferences, Ryan and I headed over to Grinnell for that visitation. Exhausting. We got home late, but had the sitter keep the kids up... we did baths quick and then bed. They (and us) were so tired this morning. I'm ready for 'normal' - is there normal???
So, I'm praying there are no more funerals for a very long time. I know I'm over it. I need to start concentrating on the holidays and attempting to get somewhat excited for it. At this moment, I can't even begin to smile about all that commotion/travelling, etc. and the fact that Mom will not be here. It just makes me sick.
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