My mind is racing

This is one of those posts where it's been 'saved' for a couple weeks...  and I just keep adding to it... and putting it off to actually 'publish'.  Today I'm ready to 'publish' it.  These are just my thoughts.

My mind is racing.  Period. 

• Baby Girl --- I'm assuming this is normal - to have your mind race and race and your heart beat extra fast when you think about bringing Baby #2 into our lives.  I'm excited and blessed, there's no doubt about that...  but I also get the feeling that it's not as exciting to others around me.  Why is that?  Is it because it's not a 'first'?  Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our lives now, that we (even ME) go through an entire day and only think about Kayson.  But really - we do have another child.  Again, I'm only going to assume that this is normal. 

• Kayson ---My mind races about how Kayson's life is going to be flipped upside down the second Baby Girl arrives (not even just at home - but at the hospital).  He'll know.  I pray and pray and pray some more that Ryan and I can pull out our patience cards and really talk with Kayson... and explain and answer the questions he has... and be up for the challenges we'll have with attitude and behavior... and be able to grasp that he'll revert on some things.  It worries me, it scares me.  I just want Kayson to be happy and know that we, as a family, are happy.

• Content Baby? --- I only can hope that Baby Girl is a good baby.  Meaning - sleeps well, eats well, is content, those type of things.  I'm scared we will have so much going on with Kayson, that I won't have time to concentrate on Baby Girl...  then she'll be 3 before I know it. 

• Do we know what we are doing? --- There are days when I feel like "we've never done this before!"   We have a few things bought for Baby Girl, but again, we are trying to be more realistic with her and clothes, but then I worry we won't have enough.  (again, mind racing!)  We obviously know how to take care of and raise a child, but this one is a GIRL!  ha.  That makes me laugh...  a girl.  I have 4 beautiful nieces that I was around as they grew up... I have SEVERAL friends who have girls...  I can do this, we can do this.  
• Room ready? --- We are still waiting (trying to be patient!) for the painter to come and for Baby Girl's furniture to arrive.  First - we need rain!!  This way we can get pushed up a little on the painters list.  I walk into Baby Girls room and it's empty, just waiting to be completed and filled... and I'm very much looking forward to that step.

• Need sleep --- I am not sleeping well...  I toss and turn at night, trying to get comfortable.  I can barely take a nap either.  I lay down, absolutely exhausted, and my mind races or I just toss and turn.  Then after a couple hours, I think that I've slept only a few minutes, or did I?  I don't even know anymore.  

• My Mom --- I won't go into details, but I'm worried about my Mom.  Just prayers are needed.

• Work --- There's a lot going on at work right now.  Mostly me getting the appropriate people trained for when I'm out on maternity leave.  This is a challenge.  We have a new member to our team, and he's just 'not getting it', and it's very much a struggle.  Everyday I struggle to go to work just knowing that I have to do this training and work on my patience at work (and not just at home).  It's a lot that weighs on my shoulders.

• Me --- I'll be the first to admit it, I'm probably not the 'funnest' person to be around right now (and I apologize now).  I'm not the most attractive person right now either.  Being pregnant is hard...  even if you do have a 'perfect' pregnancy and feel awesome, it's still hard on your body.  I could use a lot of hugs right now.

• My prayers --- I pray for a healthy and happy Baby Girl.  I pray for a happy 3 1/2 year old - that will love his Baby Sister.  I pray for a happy Daddy and Mommy.   I pray for laughter, love and patience.  I pray for more blessings in our lives to come.