Kayson wrapped up his flag football season this afternoon... the team went 8-1. They did so well! Unfortunately, they didn't win their "super bowl" this afternoon, but that's ok. Kayson had a couple good 'tackles' (flag catches), and a good run too. Ryan was a great coach to those kids... makes me smile.
Sunday, October 30, 2016
Halloween 2016
Beggar's Night here in West DSM is the night before Halloween... so we were off. And to be honest, it was the last thing I really wanted to do today. But it wasn't about me... it's about the kids getting the most candy that they can (to have us literally throw it out!)
Anyway, this year, Kayson chose Mr. Cam Newton, and Cora was a Purple Garden Princess. (Yah, not exactly sure what that is, but she was adorable).
Anyway, this year, Kayson chose Mr. Cam Newton, and Cora was a Purple Garden Princess. (Yah, not exactly sure what that is, but she was adorable).
Friday, October 28, 2016
Cheryl Ann Hardy - 1944-2016
My mother, Cheryl Ann Hardy, passed away Sunday, October 23, 2016. Ryan and I received the phone call around 1:30 Sunday afternoon... Mom had told the nurses at the Care Center that she had to go to the bathroom (which she hasn't done in months)... they got her to the restroom, and she sat down, and took one last breath - and went unresponsive. Dad, Trish and Jill were phoned (as they are minutes away)... and were there to say goodbye to her Sunday. Ryan and I rushed home as soon as we could Sunday afternoon to be with everyone...
I don't really know what to write here. I have so many emotions still. I will never see Mom again. Our kids will never experience Grandma Cheryl again - whether she was healthy or stuck in a body where Alzheimer's had taken control. My heart is broken. I ache. I'm so mad that disease took over and took her so quickly. Then the other side of me knows that she's better... she's no longer 'not herself'. She's happy, she remembers things/us, and is medication free.
We had went to Clarion Friday evening (the 21st) to spend some time there, and visit Mom. We spent about 20-25 minutes with Mom Friday night at the Care Center. She was 'out of it', but she sat and looked at the kids and would answer a few questions. She said the kids' names - "Oh Cora May... sweetie." and "Kayson"... she half smiled. She answered Dad's questions a little... and we talked about Kayson's school teacher having a baby, and how Cora and I went to Arizona. When we decided it was best to leave... we touched her hand and her back... told her we loved her, and she began to cry. We walked away.
Dad said he had visited her Sunday morning... and had a nice visit. So we are just in shock that this has happened... but I have a feeling God is telling us that she needed to see us Friday, and she was done, just done. She was done being like that - she was over it - she didn't want that anymore. That's how I have to get through this... she's better. But I miss her. I miss her laugh, and when we'd call she'd always say - "Why don't you get in the car and just come here!?!?" She'd say that years ago, and even about a year ago when she would still talk on the phone a little. She just wanted us there. She wanted all of us there, all the time. We (us girls and the grandkids) were her life. She loved us so much.
So now here we are... Friday. Nearly a week later. We are all emotionally exhausted. Each of us girls are doing ok. Tricia is struggling a lot - Mom and her were VERY close. She has a lot running through her. Jill is doing ok - doesn't like to cry very much, she's our strong sister. And I'm ok (hurting at random times) - I find myself very, very sad in the mornings. It's like I wake up and it's another day without her, another day for my Dad without her. I just kind of feel sick to my stomach. I just stare off into space a lot... thinking about her... thinking about my kids... everything.
Ryan has been amazing through this. When we got the call Sunday, he ached and cried with me, but he knew he had some things to do. He phoned my closest friends, took care of getting his parents here to take care of the kids... he just has been great. My Mom loved Ryan - her and him had a funny relationship, he was always giving her a hard time about something... and she let him, and loved it too. I'm so thankful for him.
And our kiddos - both kids have been a little standoff-ish with this for a couple days. Which I don't blame them. I know Kayson understands, but he gets a little nervous and doesn't know how to handle things like this... and that's ok. It did hit him pretty hard on Thursday when we were at the graveside. He did cry pretty hard and just wanted to hold my hand. Cora really just enjoyed being with the cousins... but when we got home last Thursday night, she fell apart. It was probably a mixture of being super tired, but she cried and cried - saying she missed Grandma and wanted her to wake up. That hurt.
Mom was an amazing mother. She did everything for us girls. You name it, she did it. That was one thing we told our Pastor - "she just did it all." And she didn't care. She wanted to. And she passed that onto others as well. We had SOOOO many people come through the visitation to pay their respects, and so many at the funeral as well. It really shows how many people she loved, and loved her. She was a special woman in the Clarion community. Mom will never be forgotten.
I don't really know what to write here. I have so many emotions still. I will never see Mom again. Our kids will never experience Grandma Cheryl again - whether she was healthy or stuck in a body where Alzheimer's had taken control. My heart is broken. I ache. I'm so mad that disease took over and took her so quickly. Then the other side of me knows that she's better... she's no longer 'not herself'. She's happy, she remembers things/us, and is medication free.
We had went to Clarion Friday evening (the 21st) to spend some time there, and visit Mom. We spent about 20-25 minutes with Mom Friday night at the Care Center. She was 'out of it', but she sat and looked at the kids and would answer a few questions. She said the kids' names - "Oh Cora May... sweetie." and "Kayson"... she half smiled. She answered Dad's questions a little... and we talked about Kayson's school teacher having a baby, and how Cora and I went to Arizona. When we decided it was best to leave... we touched her hand and her back... told her we loved her, and she began to cry. We walked away.
Dad said he had visited her Sunday morning... and had a nice visit. So we are just in shock that this has happened... but I have a feeling God is telling us that she needed to see us Friday, and she was done, just done. She was done being like that - she was over it - she didn't want that anymore. That's how I have to get through this... she's better. But I miss her. I miss her laugh, and when we'd call she'd always say - "Why don't you get in the car and just come here!?!?" She'd say that years ago, and even about a year ago when she would still talk on the phone a little. She just wanted us there. She wanted all of us there, all the time. We (us girls and the grandkids) were her life. She loved us so much.
So now here we are... Friday. Nearly a week later. We are all emotionally exhausted. Each of us girls are doing ok. Tricia is struggling a lot - Mom and her were VERY close. She has a lot running through her. Jill is doing ok - doesn't like to cry very much, she's our strong sister. And I'm ok (hurting at random times) - I find myself very, very sad in the mornings. It's like I wake up and it's another day without her, another day for my Dad without her. I just kind of feel sick to my stomach. I just stare off into space a lot... thinking about her... thinking about my kids... everything.
Ryan has been amazing through this. When we got the call Sunday, he ached and cried with me, but he knew he had some things to do. He phoned my closest friends, took care of getting his parents here to take care of the kids... he just has been great. My Mom loved Ryan - her and him had a funny relationship, he was always giving her a hard time about something... and she let him, and loved it too. I'm so thankful for him.
And our kiddos - both kids have been a little standoff-ish with this for a couple days. Which I don't blame them. I know Kayson understands, but he gets a little nervous and doesn't know how to handle things like this... and that's ok. It did hit him pretty hard on Thursday when we were at the graveside. He did cry pretty hard and just wanted to hold my hand. Cora really just enjoyed being with the cousins... but when we got home last Thursday night, she fell apart. It was probably a mixture of being super tired, but she cried and cried - saying she missed Grandma and wanted her to wake up. That hurt.
Mom was an amazing mother. She did everything for us girls. You name it, she did it. That was one thing we told our Pastor - "she just did it all." And she didn't care. She wanted to. And she passed that onto others as well. We had SOOOO many people come through the visitation to pay their respects, and so many at the funeral as well. It really shows how many people she loved, and loved her. She was a special woman in the Clarion community. Mom will never be forgotten.
Wednesday, October 19, 2016
This & That
- Cora and I are going on 5 days without seeing Ryan... there's a chance we may see him Friday night, otherwise, it'll be Saturday night. LONG ASS TIME.
- Kayson had a play date tonight. School night. EEK. He has a little friend, Carter, who lives close (but across a busy street) and is in his class. They seem to be 'best of friends' right now. We picked Carter up and we went to Dairy Queen and got ice cream. They did great... lots of giggles. Cora wanted to play with them so badly too - but Kayson was less than interested. ha. Good little hour and a half.
- I know I'm still pretty tired from our trip... it kind of caught up with me today at about 3. I had lost interest in work... and just got sleepy. I'm hoping I feel 'normal' by tomorrow! I know Cora is still tired too - falling asleep really quick the last two nights.
- Kayson read to Cora tonight. I love that.
Tuesday, October 18, 2016
Mommy/Cora trip to Arizona
First and foremost - Cora and I survived our first trip on our own and we had a GREAT time.
Our trip to Arizona was successful, and I'm very thankful we got to celebrate my cousin, Cale's marriage to Katie. So fun!!
Friday:
We headed out Friday around noon. I was going to take Cora to daycare that morning - just to keep her on a schedule and kinda 'out of my hairs'... but with a push from Ryan, I kept her home. And I regretted it. She was SUPER bored and asked about every 3 minutes if we were leaving yet!!! So next time, she'll go to daycare! ha.
We headed out - met up with Tricia and Greg, and that's where we started our waiting. She was pretty antsy the first 'wait', but overall did pretty well. Our first flight was to Dallas/Ft. Worth - Cora did well, seemed to be a quick 1.5 hour flight. I was thrilled she did well. Then we had a super long layover there... we walked, we talked, we ate, and she snoozed on my lap (for the first time in YEARS). Not going to lie - it was pretty damn sweet. Our gate got changed kind of last minute, so we then had to take the tram to a different location - funny story here: Cora freaked out! I kind of did too - there was SOOOOO many people on that thing, so claustrophobic and SO FAST! I wasn't prepared, and we had Cora just standing. I totally should have held her, but I didn't know what to expect. However, it was a quick, fast trip - so it only lasted about 3 minutes!!! But that'll be a good story to tell for a long time!
Flight to Tucson was good as well... we got our rental car, and made our way to the hotel. It was fairly late - 7:30 AZ time (9:30 for us), so we were tired and dirty (airport and airplane germs!!!), so we just called it a night, got settled and got to bed.
Saturday:
We both slept well, just maybe not long enough!! But we got up, met up with our other cousins, Monette, her hubby Gary, and their daughter Shanna (and boyfriend Spencer) had breakfast, then hit the pool! That's what Cora had been asking for since Friday morning! The weather in Arizona was perfect --- a little chilly in the morning, until about 9:30, then by 10:30, it was warm!! We really enjoyed the pool and just seeing some of our cousins. Cora took a little rest Saturday afternoon, then we got dolled up for the wedding.
It was a short drive to the wedding location... short, sweet, beautiful ceremony. We are super happy for Cale and Katie. They have been together about 8 years... raised their children (from different parents) and have made a family of their own - they are truly blessed; then the remainder of the night was eating and dancing. I'll add right here - Cora didn't eat well this entire trip. I totally expected that, I'm not dumb, but it had already caught up with her by Saturday night!! But we fought through it. Cora was very tired by about 6:30 Saturday night, and I knew we had a LONG night ahead of us... soon enough the music started, and that perked her up. She was on that dance floor for about an hour - dancing SOOO hard and it was adorable. She was kind of the center of attention for a little bit!
Cora hit a wall about 9:00 (so technically 11:00 Iowa time)... poor kid. Trish and Greg were fine with leaving, so we headed back... another good nights sleep.
Sunday:
Sunday morning we got up and headed back to the ceremony location - Cale and Katie were providing a breakfast for us. Super yummy, and gave us more time to talk with the Arizona cousins, etc. Another beautiful morning - on a golf course, with a view of the mountains. (I didn't do a very good job at taking pictures), but I'll never forget what it looked like.
Back to the pool for more fun. Cora literally had the pool to herself, and she loved it! We hung out at the pool nearly all day. Cora took a rest in between the fun... but it was a super day. Then that evening, we just hung out again with Monette, Gary, Shanna and Spencer... more pool/hot tub time. We ordered pizza in, ate at the pool. It was soooo relaxing. Cora did great - she played the iPad and colored a little... it was a super nice night. Kind of what we needed - just relaxing.
Monday:
Cora slept awesome, so that was nice... we had breakfast, then just hung out getting packed up. There was a lot of waiting Monday morning - but overall, Cora did well. I could tell she was tired by the time we were heading back to Tucson, but she fought through it. And stayed pretty happy. We got settled at the airport, and more waiting happened... this was where I was ready to get home. That point where we are all tired, kind of crabby and feeling dirty. ha. Those damn germs at airports!!! I can only hope that we did a decent job of wiping things off and we don't get sick in 3 days. (Yes, I took Lysol wipes with us, and we wiped shit off!!!! -- Cora did too, it was hilarious and cute at the same time!!) :)
We finally got to Dallas/Ft. Worth after a delay in Tucson. We were actually getting pretty antsy thinking we may not make our connection... but it worked out, close call - but we made it. Now this is where my patience was done, and Cora was completely checked out. She did well for about 30 minutes (which was nearly the time we taxied and then finally got in the air)... She was super antsy/uncomfortable, would not sit still... from my eyes - she was only trying to stay awake. Poor kid. After lots of talking and the start of whining and crying ... she FINALLY put her head down on my lap and fell asleep - 10 minutes before we landed!!! LONGEST FLIGHT EVER! ha!! She just couldn't get comfortable, and I don't blame her. She did SOOO well, and I'm so proud of her.
We landed in DSM at 10:50... pulled into the drive way at 11:40. LATE.
But we are home... safe... and have some great memories for me and Cora. I'll always treasure that. I'm also super thankful for Tricia and Greg. They hauled us... and helped with Cora (when she would let them!). Trish totally needed this vacation, and I know she had a great time.
Now... here are my phone pictures! :)
Friday flights/pictures:
Saturday happenings:
Sunday happenings:
Monday wrap up:
Our trip to Arizona was successful, and I'm very thankful we got to celebrate my cousin, Cale's marriage to Katie. So fun!!
Friday:
We headed out Friday around noon. I was going to take Cora to daycare that morning - just to keep her on a schedule and kinda 'out of my hairs'... but with a push from Ryan, I kept her home. And I regretted it. She was SUPER bored and asked about every 3 minutes if we were leaving yet!!! So next time, she'll go to daycare! ha.
We headed out - met up with Tricia and Greg, and that's where we started our waiting. She was pretty antsy the first 'wait', but overall did pretty well. Our first flight was to Dallas/Ft. Worth - Cora did well, seemed to be a quick 1.5 hour flight. I was thrilled she did well. Then we had a super long layover there... we walked, we talked, we ate, and she snoozed on my lap (for the first time in YEARS). Not going to lie - it was pretty damn sweet. Our gate got changed kind of last minute, so we then had to take the tram to a different location - funny story here: Cora freaked out! I kind of did too - there was SOOOOO many people on that thing, so claustrophobic and SO FAST! I wasn't prepared, and we had Cora just standing. I totally should have held her, but I didn't know what to expect. However, it was a quick, fast trip - so it only lasted about 3 minutes!!! But that'll be a good story to tell for a long time!
Flight to Tucson was good as well... we got our rental car, and made our way to the hotel. It was fairly late - 7:30 AZ time (9:30 for us), so we were tired and dirty (airport and airplane germs!!!), so we just called it a night, got settled and got to bed.
Saturday:
We both slept well, just maybe not long enough!! But we got up, met up with our other cousins, Monette, her hubby Gary, and their daughter Shanna (and boyfriend Spencer) had breakfast, then hit the pool! That's what Cora had been asking for since Friday morning! The weather in Arizona was perfect --- a little chilly in the morning, until about 9:30, then by 10:30, it was warm!! We really enjoyed the pool and just seeing some of our cousins. Cora took a little rest Saturday afternoon, then we got dolled up for the wedding.
It was a short drive to the wedding location... short, sweet, beautiful ceremony. We are super happy for Cale and Katie. They have been together about 8 years... raised their children (from different parents) and have made a family of their own - they are truly blessed; then the remainder of the night was eating and dancing. I'll add right here - Cora didn't eat well this entire trip. I totally expected that, I'm not dumb, but it had already caught up with her by Saturday night!! But we fought through it. Cora was very tired by about 6:30 Saturday night, and I knew we had a LONG night ahead of us... soon enough the music started, and that perked her up. She was on that dance floor for about an hour - dancing SOOO hard and it was adorable. She was kind of the center of attention for a little bit!
Cora hit a wall about 9:00 (so technically 11:00 Iowa time)... poor kid. Trish and Greg were fine with leaving, so we headed back... another good nights sleep.
Sunday:
Sunday morning we got up and headed back to the ceremony location - Cale and Katie were providing a breakfast for us. Super yummy, and gave us more time to talk with the Arizona cousins, etc. Another beautiful morning - on a golf course, with a view of the mountains. (I didn't do a very good job at taking pictures), but I'll never forget what it looked like.
Back to the pool for more fun. Cora literally had the pool to herself, and she loved it! We hung out at the pool nearly all day. Cora took a rest in between the fun... but it was a super day. Then that evening, we just hung out again with Monette, Gary, Shanna and Spencer... more pool/hot tub time. We ordered pizza in, ate at the pool. It was soooo relaxing. Cora did great - she played the iPad and colored a little... it was a super nice night. Kind of what we needed - just relaxing.
Monday:
Cora slept awesome, so that was nice... we had breakfast, then just hung out getting packed up. There was a lot of waiting Monday morning - but overall, Cora did well. I could tell she was tired by the time we were heading back to Tucson, but she fought through it. And stayed pretty happy. We got settled at the airport, and more waiting happened... this was where I was ready to get home. That point where we are all tired, kind of crabby and feeling dirty. ha. Those damn germs at airports!!! I can only hope that we did a decent job of wiping things off and we don't get sick in 3 days. (Yes, I took Lysol wipes with us, and we wiped shit off!!!! -- Cora did too, it was hilarious and cute at the same time!!) :)
We finally got to Dallas/Ft. Worth after a delay in Tucson. We were actually getting pretty antsy thinking we may not make our connection... but it worked out, close call - but we made it. Now this is where my patience was done, and Cora was completely checked out. She did well for about 30 minutes (which was nearly the time we taxied and then finally got in the air)... She was super antsy/uncomfortable, would not sit still... from my eyes - she was only trying to stay awake. Poor kid. After lots of talking and the start of whining and crying ... she FINALLY put her head down on my lap and fell asleep - 10 minutes before we landed!!! LONGEST FLIGHT EVER! ha!! She just couldn't get comfortable, and I don't blame her. She did SOOO well, and I'm so proud of her.
We landed in DSM at 10:50... pulled into the drive way at 11:40. LATE.
But we are home... safe... and have some great memories for me and Cora. I'll always treasure that. I'm also super thankful for Tricia and Greg. They hauled us... and helped with Cora (when she would let them!). Trish totally needed this vacation, and I know she had a great time.
Now... here are my phone pictures! :)
Friday flights/pictures:
She's her mothers daughter. :) |
We had our moments! |
Here we go!!! |
Saturday happenings:
Fun with my sister! |
Thankful for Trish and Greg |
Cousin Jacqui |
Sunday happenings:
with cousin Monette |
cousin Scott (Kellie's hubby) - just wants a girl. He loves Cora. |
our little fish... and a private pool! |
Monday wrap up:
Wednesday, October 12, 2016
This & That
- Two more days... then it's Arizona. 90 degree weather, some serious sister/daughter time. I'm nervous, but am looking forward to getting away, having a break from work. More to come on that!
- Flu Shots --- that's the talk these days. We didn't get flu shots last year. (I know - you are all giving me the dirty looks. But we didn't get sick!!!). I just don't know why... maybe because my kids literally freak out at the thought of shots! and the fact that I truly think I feel like crap after the shot. NO FUN. Anyway, I have on my to-do to schedule the shots next week or the next. I need to do it.
- My emotions and thoughts have been a big roller-coaster this past week. I think and worry about Mom literally 95% of the day. She's always on my mind. I'm also feeling super guilty that I haven't made the trip up there. The whole thing makes my stomach turn and worry.
- Principal (my work) has removed our Personal Time Off benefit. In a nutshell, over the next year or so, I need to use up the PTO that I currently have. I have about 5 weeks of time off as of now, but I'll still accrue some time over the next year... I feel like that's a lot, but some people in my area are in the boat of having nearly 3 months off. In the end, we'll have what's called Flexible Time Off (which is just that), but in the interim, there's going to be a lot of people in my area taking time off... including me. I've debated and gone back and forth about it - but I'm going to use it. I know we don't do vacations (but will do a 10 year anniversary trip), but I'm going to take days off and try my hardest to refresh myself and use that time that I've earned.
Monday, October 10, 2016
Weekend
Friday:
Carrie concert!
Saturday:
My sisters and nieces had stayed over... so Saturday morning, we all drug ourselves out of bed, and just hung out at the house. Jill, Ash and Linds left around 10;00, Trish, Eden and Hope stayed til about 12:30. It was nice to just hung out and chat.
Saturday afternoon we really didn't do anything... somehow we got lazy and a tad bored. Around 5:30, we headed out to our friends, Lindsay and Mike's - old friends of Ryan's. They had their annual bonfire night. Lots of food, drinks and playing for the kiddos. However, our kids continued to say "Mom" 1,000 times. Good grief. :) We had a good time though... visiting with some old high school friends of Ryan's - good people.
Sunday:
We skipped church, and headed down to Howell's pumpkin patch. I was afraid we wouldn't get to a pumpkin patch this month just cuz of our busy weekends, but it worked out Sunday morning. It was a beautiful morning - so fall, crisp-like. We were there about 2 hours... then headed back to DSM, grabbed lunch with Mike and JeanAnn. Then Kayson had flag football. I stayed at the house while Cora rested... I took a snooze as well!
I got groceries, Ryan mowed, Kayson played with the neighbor kids... and then it was supper and bedtime. The day went super fast.
That's all I got. The weekend was nice, just what we needed. We continue to have some sprinklings of sad/bad moments for Mom, but it is expected... but still very hard to soak in sometimes.
Carrie concert!
Saturday:
My sisters and nieces had stayed over... so Saturday morning, we all drug ourselves out of bed, and just hung out at the house. Jill, Ash and Linds left around 10;00, Trish, Eden and Hope stayed til about 12:30. It was nice to just hung out and chat.
Saturday afternoon we really didn't do anything... somehow we got lazy and a tad bored. Around 5:30, we headed out to our friends, Lindsay and Mike's - old friends of Ryan's. They had their annual bonfire night. Lots of food, drinks and playing for the kiddos. However, our kids continued to say "Mom" 1,000 times. Good grief. :) We had a good time though... visiting with some old high school friends of Ryan's - good people.
Sunday:
We skipped church, and headed down to Howell's pumpkin patch. I was afraid we wouldn't get to a pumpkin patch this month just cuz of our busy weekends, but it worked out Sunday morning. It was a beautiful morning - so fall, crisp-like. We were there about 2 hours... then headed back to DSM, grabbed lunch with Mike and JeanAnn. Then Kayson had flag football. I stayed at the house while Cora rested... I took a snooze as well!
I got groceries, Ryan mowed, Kayson played with the neighbor kids... and then it was supper and bedtime. The day went super fast.
That's all I got. The weekend was nice, just what we needed. We continue to have some sprinklings of sad/bad moments for Mom, but it is expected... but still very hard to soak in sometimes.
Ryan with friends, Lori & Lindsay |
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